Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen are a top power couple alive. Tom, the only player to win more than five Super Bowls and MVP of the game five times, returned to the field in Aug this year only two months after he announced his retirement. Gisele, the highest paid model in the world, is not happy with his decision. After 13 years of marriage and 2 kids, they are now rumored to have hired divorce attorneys. It’s easy to dismiss their story as just another celebrity divorce, except they have been role models for so many. Their divorce rumors break the hearts of all the fans, including young ambitious men and women. Their marriage shows the challenges that the union between two ambitious people brings and shares many lessons for us to reflect on.
Ambitious women are attracted to equally or even more ambitious men. These men are comfortable in their skin and are not intimidated by the successes and achievements of the women. They are determined, driven, and have grit. As accomplished men, they also prefer women who have a sense of purpose. The ambitious couple usually becomes each other’s biggest supporter in making the dreams come true.
There is no end to ambition. Once an ambitious person reaches a goal, almost immediately, the person feels the urge to do more and be more. The bar gets raised each time and the craving for more is never satisfied, unless we make the conscious decision to be content with what we already accomplished. Tom Brady is by far, the most decorated football player in the history. He is also known for the longevity of his success — the oldest NFL MVP at age 40, the oldest Super Bowl MVP at age 43, when the average age of retirement from football is 35. At this point, Tom has already broken almost all the records there are to break. What more does he want to achieve? Similar story can be seen with Gisele. She took the heavy lifting in supporting the family and now hopes to get back to her career in full steam. One can argue that she’s already the most accomplished female model in the world. What more does she want to achieve?
For happy marriage, ambition should take a backseat to spouse and family. The rule in life is that in every choice, there is a trade-off. In marriage, ambition could come at the cost of the family. Gisele hoped for Tom’s pursuit for legacy to end when it’s causing a strain in the family. She wanted Tom to put family first and foremost when push comes to shove. Given that Tom’s already the greatest football player of all times, she probably feels it’s now his ego that’s keeping him in the field and away from the family.
My dad always wanted to get higher degrees to become a professor in engineering. His dream was to go back to school for Master’s when he had enough money. Then, kids were born. To support the family, he ended never going back to school and working all the way to make a living. As a result, I was fortunate to grow up in a happy, loving, and middle-income family. He had his own ambitions but he chose his family over his ambition. He sacrificed and it made a world of difference for my family.
As attractive as a man’s ambition is to accomplished women, what makes him truly exceptional is the ability to stand by the family above everything else, including his own ambition. Ambition will always creep in saying it’s more important. Have the courage to keep ego in check, and say no to ambition if it means sacrificing marriage or family. Keith Urban just announced that he will not return to The Voice for the new season to spend more time with both his and Nicole Kidman’s aging parents. Talk about putting family first before his own ambition. Hope Tom and Gisele will be able to work through this. They have a chance to demonstrate to the younger generation how happy marriage is possible between go-getters if you put each other and family first before ambition.
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