Dreams are moonshot goals. They are aspirational. Goals on the other hand, are tangible. They ground us to be pragmatic. They are measurable. The hairdresser I met this summer said she has a goal. She wants to save up and buy an apartment in Seoul. She was previously a sales person at a department store. She switched to becoming a hair stylist. When I met her, she was only one week in at her new job. She said she also has a dream. She dreams of becoming a musical actress. She realizes she’s probably already too old to achieve this dream. Hence, it’s just a dream. This got me thinking, what happens when dreams and goals are not aligned? Should this hairdresser just live as a dreamer? When should you take a plunge to pursue your dreams? Is there a certain point when you should stop pursuing your dreams?
The most ideal state is when dreams and goals are aligned. Many start out living lives centered around goals that are not aligned to dreams. This is probably the case for the majority of us, and for valid reasons. First is no financial savings yet to pursue dreams. A bigger reason, however, is having no courage yet to achieve the dream. When you’re finally ready to step up and go for it, you should give your best shot. But wait, there are two important things to remember at this point: 1) Get ready to hustle, and really hustle. Dreams don’t come true overnight. You must become a very committed doer, and not just a dream believer. 2) Set a timeline. For instance, you can give yourself, let’s say three years to fully commit. If after three years of hustling hard, you still didn’t find what you were hoping for, then you should probably give yourself the permission to stop pursuing and pivot.
The key here is self-reflections. When you’re hustling, you’ll constantly be exposed to new information. With new information, adjustments are key. Just like when you learn a new sport, you begin to learn more about your body. Then, you adjust your posture and practice accordingly to perform at your very best. As we age, we learn, and we grow. We meet people and our priorities change. This means that you should continue to reevaluate your dream. Does it still bring you joy? Do you still feel like you’re growing? Is this still what you want to spend your time on?
My husband shared with me this prayer from 1930s that he stumbled into. It perfectly summarizes the reflections above:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
My hope is that the hairdresser achieves her goal of buying an apartment. I also hope that she continually reassesses her dream moving forward. She may have to continue to ask herself what specifically about being a musical actress she loves. As she digs deeper on herself, she may be able to find her unique ways to be involved in the musical community, without necessarily being an actress. Maybe, she could be a hair stylist for these shows? That would be an amazing start to realize her dream.
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