Happiness is an elusive state that we feel when we’re in balance, fulfillment, and joy. Because happiness brings out the best in us, we constantly seek for mental, physical, and social well-being that brings us happiness. When I was a teenager, I thought pursuit of happiness should be one of everyone’s life goals. It made perfect sense that we all should strive to achieve goals to make us happy. After all, didn’t even Buddha finally achieve Nirvana, the ultimate state of happiness and peacefulness, after six years of quest? Over two decades later, I now realize that pursuit of happiness is the biggest oxymoron there is. Here is why.
Happiness lies not in finding what is missing, but in finding what is present. - Tara Brach -
Happiness is not a goal. It is a byproduct of being present in the journey of life while pursuing one’s purpose. I once thought I’ll be happier when I become a VP, live in a bigger square footage home, and go on luxurious vacations around the globe. Well, guess what. I know many who achieved those and are still miserable. If we associate happiness as achieving a goal, happiness becomes extremely short-lived. We feel happy for a quick moment, then we feel inadequate as we almost immediately seek out the next milestone. We focus on what we don’t have, and who we’re not. By doing so, we get into this perpetual cycle of long period of unhappy pursuit of goals for a temporary moment of happiness.
Instead, what I propose is that we cherish what we have now and who we are today. Let’s start with being thankful for today, this very moment. The only thing certain in life is now. With so much chaos and uncertainty in the world, my husband and I joke (in all seriousness) how much we have no idea what direction life will throw us at tomorrow. What I know though is that I have today to move us forward, give back, and impact positive change. By celebrating the small wins throughout the day today, we become happier and more content.
A friend asked, “Doesn’t being content lead to mediocrity?”. The simple answer is no. Being content with small wins doesn’t mean one’s settling for less. It means one’s consciously taking time to celebrate the small progress made today vs yesterday. And that will propel us further to reach excellence. Achieving excellence per se doesn’t guarantee happy life, but celebrating each moment of progress does.
Sometimes it seems as though some people are just born to be happier than others. Happiness seems to come easier for them. The truth is they seem happier because they actively chose to be happy at that very moment. Instead of pursuing happiness, choose happiness now. Choose to think positively, give benefit of the doubt, and be at peace with yourself. Choose to be happy today, and you’ll be surprised to see how much control we actually have, this very moment, on feeling happy.
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