Have you ever wondered why we’re here on this planet Earth? One thing I know for myself is that I want to be the best person that I can be. I’m still figuring out how I can get there. One clue to finding that out, I realized, is to have generational perspectives.
Pachinko by Min Jin Lee describes a Korean immigrant family’s story across four generations starting from the Japanese occupation era. From a poor farmer’s daughter who marries a man with cleft lip and twisted foot in a suburb of Korea to her great-grandson who is born as a Korean immigrant in Japan that graduates from an Ivy League school in the US, the story across four generations is fascinating. Each person’s event is separate and yet very much interconnected. Every person has the freedom to make choices to carve out his or her own path in life. Those choices have rippling effect not just on self but generations to come.
Since reading the book, I’ve been trying to incorporate generational perspectives into daily living. I thought about the lives that women generations above me had to deal with. I thought about the kinds of lives that I want my kids to live. If you haven’t done this yet, I encourage you to think about your life as the link between the generations above and below you. Think about what role you want to play during your time on Earth being at the cross section across generations. When I started incorporating this generational perspectives into my day to day living, I found that I was also practicing below virtues.
Resilience — My grandparents were born during the Japanese occupation period when Koreans were treated as inferior to Japanese. There was no freedom of speech, and people lived under the constant fear of arrest by the Japanese military police. Despite that, my grandparents on both sides managed to raise seven and eight, respectively, healthy and happy kids. My dad was born during cold winter when the Korean War broke, and when his older sister was only a toddler. I cannot even imagine giving birth while on the road to evade the war and trying to find some food to keep the baby alive. I remember my grandmother saying my dad’s the smallest of his siblings because finding food was extremely difficult when he was growing up. He recalls eating primarily potatoes as a kid and white rice was a rarity. I am at awe and admiration for my grandparents’ generations who remained incredibly resilient despite unthinkable hardships that several wars brought them. Sure, we may feel down because we got rejected or beat ourselves up for making mistakes. What are these though compared to living through colonial rule and surviving the wars? Resilience is the virtue that our grandparents lived with and this is exactly what we should all also learn to embrace.
Humility and gratitude — Malcolm Gladwell in his book ‘Outliers’ talks about how success is not just about an individual’s talent and hard work. Success also depends on the upbringing, the environment, the community, and a lot of luck. Growing up, I remember how my parents carefully selected the school that met their academic and value standards. I recall how my parents made sure I had all the support I needed to go through the grueling college entrance study period in Seoul. Without my parents’ commitment, dedication, and hard work, I wouldn’t have been given the opportunities I had when I became an adult myself. This perspective reminds me to be humble and also fills me with much gratitude. The sacrifices that my parents made to ensure my sister and I grow up in a loving environment are profound. My dad who always dreamed of getting a Master’s Degree gave that up to bring dollars home. My mom who successfully ran a small skincare business decided to let that go and dedicate her life to raising kids when we needed more support from her. These stories of parents sacrificing their dreams for their kids are numerous. A lot of immigrant first generation parents have given up their comfort and dreams in their native lands to hopefully provide better opportunities for their kids. We are all here today because of the sacrifices and support from someone in generations before us. We’re incredibly grateful for all their sacrifices.
Giving — Having generational perspectives invites you to think about life beyond this generation. What kind of world do we want our kids to live in? What kind of values do we want them to have? What can we do now so that the next generation will grow up in a world full of optimism and opportunities? When thinking about my kids, I find myself trying my best to live healthier and better. Out of love for our kids, we want to be the best versions of our selves and role-models for them.
This time of the year is a perfect time to reflect on life in generations. The dreams and sacrifices that the generations before us had, and the similar struggles that our generations are going through for our kids, are all remarkable. The best thing we can do now for the next generation is to make prudent choices when we’re given a chance. All our decisions are interconnected and will have accumulative impact on the next generations. Let’s not stress though. Let’s start with being resilient, humble, grateful, and kind today as we prepare to welcome the New Year — and that is one giant step to living the best versions of ourselves.
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