I’ve always been busy. I like being productive and thought being busy was necessary to be that. After all, didn’t all high performers become one by being busy? Then one day, when people asked, “how have you been?”, I found myself saying “busy!” consistently. This did not feel right. Sure, there are many times when multiple things overlap when I’m genuinely busy. Take for instance, every weekday morning trying to get kids and myself ready for school and work in time. That is pure madness, real busy. Being in that state constantly though, is not normal. I began feeling that I was always on the run, not having a break, and somewhat helpless. This is when I decided to press a pause button, reflect and make real changes.
If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the demands of life, know that you are not alone. This is perfectly normal and is universally felt by all the ambitious women. The good news is we are in full control of how we decide to spend our time. We can achieve more without feeling overwhelmed, if we make mindful choices. Here are some tips on what worked best for me that I hope you’ll also try:
Do less. This simple rule is gold. This doesn’t come easy for me, as I’m so used to being busy. Doing less requires clear prioritization. Without prioritization, everything seems important. When that happens, you get into the trap of busyness with not much impact. Every morning, ask yourself, what is one thing that I absolutely want to achieve? Prioritize in getting that task done before anything else. I used to check all my emails and read news first thing in the morning, before getting to work. Now, I use my freshest brain power to do that one thing that I prioritized for the day, before checking emails or news. This helped me not only accomplish all the things that I set out to achieve, but also with higher quality.
Batch mundane tasks. I used to let mundane tasks interrupt essential works. I would do laundry right away when I felt like the laundry bags were getting full. Similarly, I used to dish wash any item in the sink immediately, just because I like my kitchen clean. Now, I strategically time to do the laundry every Saturday and Tuesday (if you can do laundry just once per week, even better!), and do dishes at certain times of the day. This saved my energy and created uninterrupted mind space so that I could focus on doing more essential works.
Aim for progress, not perfection. As ambitious overachievers, we tend to hold high standards for any roles that we take. We want to be that most capable professional, most fun and caring best friend, most loving daughter, sister, mom and wife, and the list goes on and on. Pursuing perfection yields excellence, which I have huge admiration for. What is unrealistic is to expect that we will always be in our A game in all dimensions of our lives. Strive for everyday progress, instead of the perfect output, and that will eventually help us get to excellence.
I just started a new role, and thinking about everything I need to do to be great at this new role really stressed me out. I felt overwhelmed. I then realized, hey, I just started so I can give myself a break. I adjusted the expectation to give myself some room to ramp up and learn. I focused on getting things started. I decided to be patient with myself. This made a world of difference to feeling accomplished when I made a progress from the previous day. I felt energized. Be kind to yourself, set realistic goals along the way, and enjoy the process.
Despite all these, there are times I lie down in bed at night and my brain keeps churning with the list of things that I did not do that day. If that’s what you’re experiencing, write those things down in a piece of paper. Remind your brain that you had a great day because you achieved that one most important thing you set out to do. After a few times, your brain will be in an auto-pilot to help you feel content with your focused achievement. Enjoy that good night sleep because you deserve it.
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